The Latest Moments as Time Flies By

Goodness, I’ve let the trials and tribulations of life get in my way.  It’s been ages since I’ve written about anything.  It’s cold, still some snow on the ground, we had carpeting issues in the house, and there are changes at my church that are weakening my connection and therefore the support I’ve relied upon while I go through my life change due to my severe sensitivity to synthetic fragrance chemicals.  Oh, and I tried going dairy free, and cut back on gluten as well, thinking it might help with my fragrance sensitivity, but this just made me feel deprived.   But hey–only two more weeks till spring! Even though this seems like it’s been a long winter, it also feels like “wow! it’s almost over already!!”  I recently read an explanation of why time flies by as you get older.  Wish I could give credit for this, but I read so many things (love that internet!) that I can’t remember what site I saw it on.  If you know, would you let me know?

The article, that I’m soooo ad libbing, talked about being a little kid, and how when you’re 5 or 10 years old, a month is a long time.  Remember how summer break seemed to last forever and you were actually glad to be going back to school because you were so bored?  If not, you had a lot of planned events in your life!  I didn’t.  My summers consisted of pretty much just gardening and housework, riding my bike and playing with the neighbor kids, running through the sprinklers and reading books.  Oh, and the 2 week vacation that I could hardly wait to get home from because we drove everywhere for a gazillion hours, and I couldn’t read or I’d get carsick.  No portable DVD players back then.  And very little TV time either, when we were home, because there wasn’t much to watch.  No world wide web either.  Ok,  I’m talking about back in the dark ages.

So here’s the thought process:  Around age 35, time starts getting away from you.  When you’re 55, that month zooms by quickly.  When you’re 75, I hear it zooms past seemingly in the blink of an eye.  Here’s the rationale–it’s all in regards to ratios.  When you’re 5, a month is 1/60 of your entire existence outside your mother’s womb.  When you’re 35, that month is 1/420 of your life, 55 = 1/660 of you being here, and so on.  As you get older, that month is just a drop in a really big measuring cup, if you’re lucky enough to live a long time.  We’re also busier living our lives, as we get older.  Have you noticed?  There are more and more things that you need to do, want to do, get asked to do, asked to participate in, expected to participate in…  When I read this article (source?????) it all seemed so logical.  Clarity hit.  And that helped me not stress as much about how time flies by.  Suddenly, that flitting time thing is just part of life, something to keep in mind and work around, but not worry about.  I’ve been semi-housebound for over a year, and was beating myself up about how I haven’t “accomplished” much of anything.  Other than reconnecting with my creative side as well as nature, making a stronger home base, finding out who my true friends are, discovering healthier alternatives in our synthetic (fake) world, working on getting healthier and fit, and getting caught up on my sleep.  Well, that’s a lot when you break it down!

I’ve officially begun disability retirement.  That’s what they call it when you can’t teach anymore due to health issue.  So odd, to have only taught for 10 years, but be retired.  For over a year, I was without my income in our two income household.  Thank goodness we had decent savings and retirement accounts to draw from.  It was scary for a while, watching new withdrawals occurring from those accounts for every day living.  We cut back where we were willing, always thinking this was going to miraculously improve and I could go back to work.  It really rearranged my thought process about what we really needed to buy.  I discovered how wasteful I/we had been living, even though I thought we were frugal.  I’m thinking maybe I was supposed to learn that lesson, that my comfort isn’t so dependent upon the newest, best, tastiest.  I’m discovering less costly ways to do stuff–mercy, we frittered away a lot over the years!!  And now that I’m “retired,” we can breathe a bit easier, be a bit less stressed about money, yet utilize the skills of living more simply.

My liaison at the school system retirement program said the supervisor didn’t hesitate signing my request, as I had many doctors confirming my status and my “story” was so sad.  Wow–my story is sad according to a supervisor with authority who’s seen it all.  This actually helped me a lot, because I recognized that the sadness of this saga wasn’t just in my head, like a pity party.  It’s for real.   You know, it’s still hard to wrap my head around the fact that the sophomore girls who intentionally sprayed my classroom to make me have a allergic reactions so they wouldn’t have to do homework (!) or take tests (!) or take finals (!) were never brought to the light, and will always know that they caused a life altering health issue in my life.  Do you think they’ll remember with the glee that I saw other students boast about “breaking” a teacher??  Bet they will.  Maybe not all of them, but most of them.  Here’s something–there’s another plan for me that I don’t know about yet.  Still opening up to find out what that is…

All those moments really do matter as they’re pieces of the whole.  And Happiness IS the Journey, not the Destination, after all.  (One of my mantras that I keep forgetting about, ironically!!  So my framed version is now sitting next to my desk, eye level.)  Remember this as you wonder where your time goes.  And remember to do the important stuff in life, not just the time wasters.

2015-03-05 Happiness is the Journey 001

With warm wishes on your journey,

Nance

 

Advertisements

Wanderlust runs through me and 5 Place I want to go

I know people who haven’t visited hardly anywhere else in their lives, because being home is enough.  I’m not that way–although I LOVE being home.  In fact, I’m a genuine homebody with a wanderlust side. Is that possible?  Can you relate?  

I was a lucky kid, who got to go on summer vacations with the family until I was around 10, maybe 11.  They didn’t happen as much when my older sister moved out.  Never thought about that before.  Huh.  That’s also about when we moved to northern Wisconsin from central Wisconsin, for my dad’s job.  Until the house sold, there was a lot of commuting back and forth, so I guess that counted as our “trips?”  We went on a gazillion Sunday drives, taking short day trips to different locales, eating different food, seeing different sights, so I’d say that counts. My parents divorced when I was 13, so no more trips until I had enough income to pay for my own travels.  My very first flight and vacation was when I travelled to Oxnard, California at age 21 to visit my older sister and her family.  The travel bug bit me big time!

I’d actually started dreaming of travelling the world when I was 8 years old.  Life magazine had an article, with gorgeous pictures, about the Emerald Isle or something like that–Ireland!.  Oh my goodness–I looked at those pictures and read the story over and over and over.  I was so excited when my mom finally told me I could rip it out of the magazine so I could keep it!  It was up on my bulletin board for a long time.  Last time I remember seeing it was in my mid 20’s, sorting through my “archive box” of memorabilia that I wanted to downsize.  I remember thinking that I’d probably never make it there, and the article was tossed on the discard pile.  For my 50th birthday, my husband “gave me” that trip.  It was everything I’d dreamt of and absolutely more.  Not kidding that I could move there.  Hubby won’t though–he’s an American through and through.   

I have friends who travel the globe, and I was so envious of them until lately.  They literally left for England yesterday!  Funny thing, I’m so glad to be home, taking care of things, writing on this blog (which I COULD do anywhere, I know!) playing with my two dogs, planning the garden, working on little projects…  Right now the wanderlust in me is dormant.  I suppose it’s because I just want to get healthy, and am focused on being whole as well as not being worried financially.  But if I could travel…  hmmmmm….  The five places I’d like to go…

–Thailand–I’d love to take my husband and son on a food journey through Thailand.  We LOVE Thai food.  When we eat out, that’s the most common place to find us.

–Back to Ireland, FOR SURE.  I’d seriously love to have a place there, so I could go home to County Kilkenney whenever I wanted. 

–Back to Italy, again (went before in my early 30’s) on a food journey with my hubby and son–that’s our second favorite food!  I’d really enjoy taking them to the places they’ve heard about and seen in my picture albums.

–The other two locations would be in the U.S.  I’d like to stay somewhere on a horse ranch, and also a place in the mountains.  A couple of weeks would be long enough to get a feel for the life/area. Mountains call me most of the time, but I do enjoy the ocean as well.  Had one of my most relaxing vacations EVER two years ago on the beach in South Carolina.  I loved living in San Francisco, thoroughly enjoyed Colorado when we visited there 10 years ago, loved visiting Boston, couldn’t get enough coastline in Maine, found the Redwoods to be spectacular…

Yeah, I’ve travelled a bit.  And hope to continue because my wanderlust probably won’t dissipate.  Don’t think I’d want it to–it’s definitely part of my adventure called life, part of my journey helping me experience happiness. 

With warm wishes for your journey,

Nance